HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia formerly known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
Spotted Owl plague threatens Western North America crops & livestock.
Afghanistan still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
Ozone created by electric cars now killing thousands in Los Angeles.
Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.
Texas executes last remaining citizen.
Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal Service raises the price of a first-class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
Massachusetts executes the last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million.
New California law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, and baseball bats be registered by January 2036.
Thanks John from Talk Radio Albuquerque for sending along some of the above headlines.
