To me, as a Christian, Christmas music is supposed to invoke a mix of fond remembrances of youthful celebrations and current religious obligations. Throw in some silly tunes like the "woof woof" song with dogs barking or the Chipmunks and you have some great holiday fun.
And then there is the crap music. Stuff so bad it makes you turn the radio dial ... or er ,, button.
First off I hate ANY Christmas music played BEFORE the turkey is out of the oven on Thanksgiving day. People are gathered for THANKSGIVING celebration NOT for an early Christmas. I know secular corporate America would love to eliminate Thanksgiving and skip right to Christmas after Halloween but that only makes me want to stab them in the eyeballs with a pen. I don't even go into any malls during the entire month of November because of this.
Here is my personal list of crap music (partial list)
The Christmas Shoes by Newsong - This dreadful teary mournful dirge drones on about some kid buying shoes for his mommy who is about to die Christmas eve. You've all heard it, some of you have been sucked in by how sad it is but it's NOT Christmas music. Just because they used the hook of the mommy dying on Christmas eve doesn't make it so. To quote Bart Simpson, "I didn't think it was physically possible but this both sucks AND blows."
Michael Bolton - Anything he sings but especially White Christmas and Silent Night. Screaming is NOT singing. Why this former heavy metal failure is still around puzzles me. Burl Ives, you are not.
Mannheim Steamroller -- CONVOY is your one hit wonder from the 70s until you got together to put out hyper fast paced Christmas music in the 90s. Rush Limbaugh popularized your early release by using it for bumpers on his show. You sold a lot of records, the music was novel and a nice change of pace that some liked. Then you followed it up with way too many songs with the same forced melodies. It got tiring fast. This one is overexposed and oddly tedious now. If you want kick-ass holiday music try The Trans-Siberian Orchestra.
Paul McCartney - Wonderful Christmas - I'm a huge fan but this one sounds like something he just threw together for the hell of it. If it wasn't from Paul nobody would have paid any attention to this one.
Jose Feliciano - Feliz Navidad - Just overplayed
And there are some modern-day popular artists who think they can pull it off.
Christina Aguilera - NO, take away the skin and boobs, and what's the point.
Madonna - NO, please no more skin and boobs.
Jessica Simpson - NO, you and your no-talent sister had your 15 minutes already.
Celine Dion - NO, as with Bolton screaming is NOT singing.
Clay Aiken - NO, no, and no.
That's all for now. Just remembering these hurts.
